motherhood affirmations / how to stop comparing
when i was a little girl, i never once asked myself, "i wonder if my mom compares herself to other moms?" like, i knew that every mom had their own way of doing things, but i guess i never questioned how that made my mom feel. why would that even be something that she would worry about? anyway, maybe she didn't compare (I've never asked her) and maybe not all moms do, but i feel like some do .. and i feel that even though comparing your motherhood to someone elses is totally damaging, i also think it's probably pretty normal.
when i became a mother, back in 2008, i was basically a kid myself. i knew very little about what to expect and honestly, was a little aloof to the whole being a mom thing. i didn't compare myself to other moms because i didn't know any other moms in real life and the social media beast hadn't swallowed me up yet ... things were easier back then for me. sure, i made sooooo many mistakes, but i was confident. i knew that i loved my baby and that was the only guide i needed. so now i ask myself, what happened to that confidence? why do i overanalyze every mom move i make? why do i scroll through social media and think things like, "i wish i could be more like her?"
basically my point here is to put an end to that and start fresh again. here are some things i have been jotting down in my mind to help get me there.
1. it doesn't matter whatsoever what time another mom puts her baby to bed and where her baby sleeps. it doesn't matter at all.
2. it doesn't matter how another mom gave birth and where she gave birth and how long the birth lasted and how much her baby weighed. it doesn't matter at all.
3. it doesn't matter if her baby only eats avocado and your baby has a popsicle for breakfast. it doesn't matter.
4. it doesn't matter if all of your babies were born via cesarean and don't you dare hesitate to announce that. (me)
5. if you hang around a mom friend who is constantly making comparisons out loud by saying things like, "oh well my kid .." shut that shit down (politely, of course).
6. if you follow a mom on social media that gives you feelings of self doubt, unfollow. it is totally okay to do that and you will feel so much lighter.
7. stop thinking things like, "she's more beautiful than i am" and start thinking things like, "she is beautiful and so am i."
8. don't look at another mom and immediately find something to judge her for. look for something to be inspired by instead.
9. remember that it is just as easy to lift yourself up as tear yourself down.
10. it doesn't matter if her kids are in all the activities and yours are not. it doesn't matter.
11. it doesn't matter that another mom's house looks like something out of a magazine and your couch has permanent marker scribbles all over it and you can't afford to replace it. (me, ha ha) it doesn't matter.
12. lastly, you love your children more than anything and you are doing an amazing job. give yourself a little more credit.
can anyone relate? xo