six months.

our house has been on the market for six months. six long months. as of late, the weekends have been  spent hosting open houses. i cannot tell you how discouraging trying to sell a house can be. especially when no one shows up to even look at it. we spend so much time preparing to show it. if you have ever sold a house, i'm sure you understand. arick is outside weeding and mowing and i'm inside frantically cleaning around my active six year old and mobile nine month old. this past weekend we kept our house open friday, saturday and sunday. no one showed up friday or saturday. honestly, by the time saturday night rolled around all i wanted to do was sit and sob. we love our house. i call it our house and not our home because it is only a structure that keeps us sheltered, safe and warm. our home is us.

 the primary reason for selling this house is because we want to move to the country. arick and i have lived in this city since college and we are just ready to move on. we both grew up in the country and were able to explore and run free. i had chickens, goats, pigs and a big garden. my brothers and i could spend an entire day exploring the woods behind our house. we didn't need the internet or a television to entertain us. it was so good and i want that for my children, too.

some days i feel like such a brat, though. i am crying because no one will buy my big, beautiful house. at least i have a house. i catch myself acting so ungrateful and what is that teaching my children? i know that it is okay if this house doesn't sell right away. i know that we are all okay and in no real big hurry to move. i know that eventually it will sell and we will move and we will look back on this and say, "man, i didn't think that house would ever sell."  we are trying to stay positive and live our day to day only focusing on the good that surrounds us. for me, it is learning patience and to teach my children to be thankful for what we have. i have this idea of what would be the perfect house for us in my mind and i want it. i want it now. have i always been this ... spoiled? i have so much. if we lived in this house we have now for the rest of our lives, well then, shoot, we've been fortunate. i think it is just the human condition. always wanting what we don't have. always looking for that next big thing. something to excite us. something to fill our thoughts when we are trying to sleep at night. it is like being a kid who is excited about a trip to disney world in adult form ... only i think their impatience is a little more acceptable. as adults, we should be more equipped to get a grip. anyway, for now i will be grateful that this house is squeaky clean and keeping us warm at night. i will be grateful for the wonderful times we have shared here and the life long memories it has given us.