an autumn eve

for the second autumn in a row, i took my babies to this tree ... it is on our way home from my parent's house, so after spending our day visiting them, we stop here just before the sun sets. 

once we are out of the car, they immediately run towards the sea of leaves, yelling and giggling with excitement. 

the boys took turns sitting in the stroller so i could take a few photos. 

we counted one, two, three and threw handfuls of leaves into the air.

we laid down and buried one another ... making leaf angels and taking big, deep breaths. 

"it's so beautiful, mama!" eleanor would say. 

we sat side by side as the sky grew darker and talked about halloween. 

i thought how special it would be to come back every year. to make it our own. 

i imagined sitting next to them when they aren't so little anymore ... wondering what it will be like then ... wondering if it will be one of those sacred childhood memories to hold on to forever.  

our new stroller is just fantastic. you can find it here ...

p.s. as i typed out this post, i shed a few tears and listened to this song. xo. 

apples and more!

today was the first day it really, really felt like autumn ... by that i mean, if you walked outside at nine am without a sweater on, you were cold. the skies were gray and the chill in the air made your nose run a bit ... our yard is gradually being overtaken by fallen leaves and the lawn mower is most likely stored away until spring. everywhere you go, you see mums and pumpkins for sale ... pumpkin lattes being advertised at starbucks and shoot, even mcdonalds ... anyway, fall is here and im bloody loving it. 

as most of you know, we already went apple picking a few weeks back, but i just had to bundle up my boys and go again ... i mean, we can always use more applesauce and i really wanted to make apple butter this time around. so, we spent the morning at our favorite orchard and by the end of today, there was apple butter simmering in the le creuset and applesauce in the slow cooker ... im saving the honey crisps for pie ...

i wanted to share with you a recipe for apple butter and my grandma's homemade biscuits ... for me, there is delicious nostalgia in every bite ... see recipes below. 

apple butter (i found this recipe on pinterest):

1. slice, peel and core six apples of your choice. 
2. place them in a dutch oven and add 1/4 cup brown sugar, 1/4 cup sugar, 1/4 cup water, 1 tablespoon of cinnamon and one squeeze of fresh lemon juice. 
3. cover and simmer on low for about two hours. 
4. throw it in a food processor and puree until smooth. 
5. divide into two 8 oz glass jars. 
6. spread on a biscuit and enjoy!

homemade biscuits: you can find the recipe here

applesauce:

1. slice, peel and core as many apples as you want.
2. place them in a crock pot or slow cooker.
3. cover with water just below apples (not too much)
4. sprinkle with desired amount of cinnamon
5. slow cook on low about eight hours or overnight.
6. throw it in a food processor and puree.
7. store in mason jars. (i freeze mine in freezer bags because i put them in reusable pouches for wolfgang ... he loves applesauce!)

enjoy! xo

p.s. ... our blanket is from target, the adorable knit jumpers the boys are wearing are from the gap and their matching moccs were kindly gifted to us from kc moccs.

all the monkeys

everyday after we pick up el from school and enjoy a smoothie, we head to my sun filled bedroom to be silly and jump and play ... to be monkeys. rufus is usually still tucked away and snoozing in the wrap from our walk to school, so i sit back and watch my oldest two go nuts on my bed ...

 growing up, my mother never allowed us to jump on her bed and that's okay ... we certainly had plenty of fun doing other things ... but for me .. for them ... i want this to be a fond memory from childhood ... jumping on the bed while mama sat back, watching, smiling, encouraging ... 

i'm not sure how to explain the happiness that exists here, during this time. im not sure if it's the bright light coming from earth, or leftover energy from school and naps ... but i will tell you this ... there is pure joy floating around in my bedroom everyday around three thirty pm... 

it is our joy. it is my happiness ... 

soon i will be talking about why eleanor is no longer being taught at home by me ... why we decided to send her to public school. xo. 

a sunflower sunday

yesterday was a really, really good day. i woke up with an energetic spirit and asked my husband if we could load up and go out for breakfast ... the air was crisp and cool outside and i just really wanted to soak it all up. on the way to bob evans, we stopped by a sunflower field and took some photos. i love that about humans ... anytime you see a field full of flowers, you pull over and admire. it's like an unspoken rule. you just gotta. i love seeing all of the other people walking around and taking selfies with their loved ones ... it's free love. free joy. it's a goodness that only the human race can appreciate. 

after we roamed the field, we walked over to the farmer's stand and let the kids pick out a pumpkin. wolfgang insisted on calling his pumpkin "corn." it was pretty darn cute. 

we headed to bob evans and stuffed our bellies with french toast, chocolate milk, eggs, hash browns, crispy bacon, biscuits and gravy ... you know, all of the most delicious breakfast foods. 

we got back home a little after noon and took the longest family nap we've ever taken ... it was well over three hours. oh goodness, did we need it! ...

...i don't really have a whole lot more to say about the day ... i just wanted to document it here. it will be something for me to look back on and smile about ... and i think it's important we have those things. 

p.s. i wanted to thank you all for the words of encouragement i received from my last post. you have absolutely no idea how much every comment meant to me. every word i read felt like a hug. also, thank you for just taking the time to read about my struggle. i woke up the following morning after posting it and a weight had been lifted.sincerely, thank you.