this week.

mostly our weeks are spent at home. typically the only time the kids and i leave the house is for ballet, library and trips to the grocery store. i must say ... we get a little stir crazy at times. especially when mama isn't doing so hot. my morning sickness and exhaustion with baby number three is in full effect and honestly, most of time i'm looking for any moment throughout the day when i can crawl into bed. i do not have family around and arick has been working outside of the home a lot lately, so i gotta keep truckin.' ... im not complaining ... it's okay. we do okay. eleanor is a trooper and will play quietly in her room while wolfgang naps so i can rest. my house has paid a price though ... and it sucks. i do okay keeping up with dishes and laundry and sweeping up, but oh man my floors need mopped and my windows need scrubbed. i just keep telling myself that it's no big deal and this will pass and i will be back at it soon enough. all that matters is that my babies are fed and hugged and loved. the emotions though ... wow. those first trimester blues. i force myself to watch reruns of the office before falling asleep at night to have a good laugh. something lighthearted. something familiar. comfort, i guess. 

moving right along ... this week was my husband's birthday, so i baked a carrot cake from scratch because it's his favorite and every year he requests it. i was feeling rather normal the day of which made me happy. i was so worried i would be too sick to bake, but nope! a dear window of opportunity at the most perfect time. eleanor put pink roses on top and made him a card. when he got home from work, we sang happy birthday and shared bites. it was sweet ... but you know, little ones have a way of adding magic to things ... warmth. unconditional love. excitement. all that good stuff that makes life worth living. 

this week also marks ten months of trying to sell our house. it was pretty stressful six months in, but here lately we are sort of "eh" about it. not like giving up, but just trying to stay positive because things could be worse and unnecessary worry or stress will not help it sell. we have a roof over our heads and gosh, that's huge, ya know? we took a break from open houses during the holiday season, but will be back at it beginning this weekend. here's hoping i can muster the strength to get the house ready! and if i can't do it all, that's okay, too. everything will be fine. deep breathes. 

approaching thirty.

this year is kind of huge for me. i turn thirty. THIRTY. and let me tell you ... every morning when i wake and stumble to the bathroom and slowly plop on the toilet, i feel it. my pee even has a new smell. is that weird to say? who cares. oh and then when i stand up and pull up those oversized hanes her way that i have been wearing since my last pregnancy and look in the mirror, all i see is everything that has happened since my birth until now. i look like an open memoir. sadness, exhaustion, motherhood, remnants of my youth, worry, happiness, comfort, joy ... old and new. if i study my face long enough i can see my nineteen year old self in a fit of laughter. i can see the joy i felt when my babies were born. i can see the innocence of a seven year old me playing catch with my brother in the yard of the house i grew up in. it's all there. it's here. living in every pore and in every wrinkle. every accomplishment. every mistake. it's there ... and it's some kind of wonderful.

man, my twenties were hard. i messed up. a lot. a whole lot. but i also grew so much and i am so grateful to finally be leaving my twenties and entering my thirties. i feel like i finally have my feet planted on the ground and know exactly what i want. what i need. and that is exactly what i have right now. staying at home with my babies, waiting for my husband to get home. fixing dinner and evening routines and loads of laundry and dirty diapers and long naps. all of it. 

for the past ten years i have been keeping notes. literally. and storing them in the top of my dresser drawer. today i pulled them out. here they are. 

it's okay if some people don't fancy you. 

cellulite IS sexy. 

never be someone else's black cloud. 

you will never outgrow feelings. 

you don't always have to take a stand. 

if the apple you are eating isn't organic, it's okay. 

learn how to say "i'm sorry" and mean it.

cry alone and for no reason when you need to. 

stop hating yourself for mistakes you cannot undo and just try really, really try hard not to ever make those mistakes again. 

mind ya business. 

negativity will destroy you and the ones you love. 

never forget the times you felt free and remember them often. 

sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will ALWAYS hurt you. 

be kind. be kind. be kind. 

ask yourself why you are still holding that grudge. maybe you should be. or maybe not?

love yourself with greasy hair and no makeup. this IS how your children will remember you anyway. 

try your damnedest to be the light in someone else's life. 

sing. 

notice something beautiful every single day. 

lay in your underwear and read a book while the babies nap. 

let it go. 

stop hiding from the camera. when you're eighty you will think, "i looked great."

and lastly... this is one that i reflect on often....

stop wondering if the grass is always greener and water yours. 

age twenty to thirty. my soundtrack. 

1. Iron & Wine - Our Endless Numbered Days

2. Neil Young - On the Beach 

3. The Be Good Tanyas - Chinatown

4. Kings of Convenience - Riot On An Empty Street

5. Clouddead - Ten

6. Son Volt - Trace 

7. Devendra Banhart - Rejoicing in the Hands

8. Sufjan Stevens - Michigan/Illinoise

9. Joanna Newsom - The Milk Eyed Mender

10. Belle & Sebastian - If You're Feeling Sinister 

11. Beck - Sea Change 

12. Bonnie 'Prince' Billy - EVERYTHING HE EVER MADE

13. The Upsetters - Super Ape 

14. Andrew Bird - Mysterious Production of Eggs

15. Damien Jurado - Where Shall You Take Me?

16, Sun Kil Moon - Ghosts Of The Great Highway

17. Magnolia Electric Co. - What Comes After The Blues 

18. Gillian Welch - Soul Journey
19. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
20. M. Ward - Transistor Radio

the other day Arick said that there are probably only one or two people in this world that you will love unconditionally and all you can hope for is that whoever that person may be for you ... that you are also that person for them. 

this is a photo of a  twenty four year old me with my husband eating breakfast at a local diner that we frequented a lot at that time in our lives. 

i know this post was jumbled and a bit random. thanks for reading. a big hell yea kind of welcome home hug for my thirties and a sweet farewell kiss to my twenties. xo. 

a new life

a couple of months ago my husband and i sat in bed and discussed our future ... we do that often because well, i guess that's what grown ups do. we had been feeling rather content with the way things are. we have a roof over our heads, a steady income that allows me to stay home with our two healthy kids and each other ... why push it? you know what i mean? although the idea of carrying and mothering another baby seemed delightful because it is ... we just weren't sure having another baby was something we were going to do. well, it turns out ... during that conversation of whether or not we were going to grow our family .... i was pregnant.

we are thrilled. yes, we are.

our little bean is due in august and i have already been fantasizing about the whole day he or she arrives. that moment your baby leaves your body and enters your world ... well there is no greater high. the joy ... it takes your breath away. i can't wait.

i will be back soon with updates of our sweet little journey. for now, i will leave you this song.

a saturday morning smile

i woke up this morning with so much clarity. so often we worry about what other people think of us, don't we? recently someone i thought i had a good rapport with suddenly stopped following me and im not gonna lie, it's been a buggin' me because of that need to know why ..., ya know? it really stings. i mean, not enough to ruin my life or anything, but it bothered me. and this morning i woke up with a big smile on my face because .... oh, well. keep it movin'. so what that person doesn't care about me or so what that maybe i rub them the wrong way. it's okay. not everyone will like us or think we are cool. all i need to do is feel thankful for the other people i have met who have been a positive light in my life and try my hardest to be a positive light in theirs. i need to stop whining and fretting over the negative. 

anyway, i woke up to the distant sounds of wolfgang blabbing in his crib basically saying, "mama, im awake, come get me." and i walked into eleanor's room and she had one of my old dresses on and was talking to herself in the mirror. i kissed my husband's head and let him sleep and the kids and i came downstairs for our morning breakfast routine. it was like the fog in my head had suddenly cleared. sunny skies in my brain. it's okay. it's okay. it's great. 

today i will embrace normal. i will embrace my real life because it's pretty damn good. the kids are watching this old house on pbs and i'm sitting on the couch looking at pinterest fails and cracking up over how great real life is. we try so hard as humans and sometimes it's just a disaster, but that is what makes it all so genuine and good. genuine. genuine. genuine. and if it's not, leave it alone and keep it movin'. 

this photo i chose for this post is not the best quality and a little crooked, but i adore it. it was from a few days ago when daddy got home from work. he always scoops wolfgang up and they walk around pointing at things and saying, "oooooooooooo" it's wonderful and real and something that should never be taken for granted. 

clarity. 

arick sent me this video the other day and if you watch it you will see how truly great this planet can be. genuine and true. also, it will just make you smile big time. 

lastly, just now eleanor started cracking up and i looked up and wolfgang had climbed on top of the speakers and was just standing there grinning from ear to ear. ahhhh, everything is fine. everything is wonderful. happy saturday. 

days like these

today was emotional. our family is in the process of accepting change/something new and it has emotions on high around here...i will get into specifics another day. you know how when one person in the family is off key, the rest of the family sort of follows along. i think that is what makes being part of a family so tender and sweet. 

it seems like a lot of people think being emotional is being sad and that is not always the case. we haven't been sad, we have just been easily thrown into fits of laughter or bucketfuls of tears. and when i say we, i mean the kids and i ... my husband copes with change well and all he really needs everyday is a few moments when he can have his face in a book. in fact, not having time to read everyday is just about the only thing that stresses him out. he is such an interesting person. he ordered us new stockings with our names engraved and when i checked the mail and opened the box i could have burst with excitement and joy. he is so, so good to us and deserves those moments each day to do what he loves ... even if it is just twenty minutes alone with a good book. 

anyway, tonight when i tuck the kiddos into bed i will smother them with kisses and feel so thankful for this little family of mine. emotional days or the best days, they are our days together and i wouldn't trade it for any other life. 

i have been listening to this song a lot as of late. i catch myself softly humming it as i tiptoe around our house throughout the day. it's just one of those songs that make you feel everything. 

holidays // a tree farm

today papa took the day off work so we could spend it together at the tree farm. it was wonderful. eleanor ran all over the place yelling, "i like this one! how about this one?!" we walked up and down every row and of course we ended up going with the one we saw first. wolfgang couldn't believe his luck ... dirt, dirt and more dirt. oh, and mud! he pointed and smiled at almost every tree.

i don't really have much to say about it, maybe because im full of roasted vegetables and exhausted at the moment. all i wanna do is be a slug on the couch ... but i wanted to share these photos of our perfect day. xo.

for the love of houseplants

let me begin with saying that i am in no way, shape or form a plant expert. everything i know is from trial and error. trust me, i killed a whole lot of cacti before i accepted the fact that my house is just too darn cold for them to survive.

today, i would like to share my favorite houseplants and how i take care of them. i have more plants that i will not show today because i just wanted to show the ones that are great for beginners. plants that i will call adaptable, meaning they do not require hot sun for eight hours a day.


1. the sansevieria

i have two of these guys, a large one that i keep in wolfgang's room and a small one i keep next to my window in my bedroom. the large one gets watered one cup every other thursday. the small one gets watered 1/2 cup every other tuesday.

2: the aglaonema

i keep this gal in my bathroom. she gets watered 1 cup every other wednesday. 

3. the pothos

my oldest plant. around here we call her big mama. she has been with me for almost eight years now and she has felt it all ... the bickering between arick and i, the cries of a newborn babe, eleanor's singing and dancing, wolfgang's tiny fingers playing in her dirt. she has thrived through every move. she is just apart of the family. i have propagated her many, many times. she has offspring all over our house. She gets watered every saturday morning after i eat my granola and drink my OJ. her babes do, as well.

4. the spider plant

my mother has several spider plants at her house and in the summer she puts them in her sun room and it's magical. i really hope my next house has a sun room. gah! i have one her spider's offspring. she is growing pretty well, but i know she will take off once spring rolls around. we do not have many sunny days in winter here in ohio. anyway, she gets watered after my pothos every saturday. 

5. air plants

i recently jumped on the air plant wagon and i refuse to get off. i adore them. i purchased them from FERN studio here in ohio. they are super sweet and easy to take care of. all you have to do is soak them in water, leaves down for twenty minutes once a week. i soak mine every thursday. in between soaks you can spray them with water. they drink from their leaves, not their roots. i will definitely be getting more of these little fellas!

TIPS! keep a calendar, so that way no plant gets forgotten and go hungry :) also, plant care makes a great chore for our little ones!